49 Days

It's shocking how quickly we fall back into our routines, especially the ones we work so hard to break. With a feeling that could probably be best described by regulars at the rehab centers, we walk down the ones we hate and love the most with reassuring familiarity. You tell yourself that some things, for better or worse, good or bad, don't change and depending on which side of the fence you're on, with a smile or sigh.

Despite loving travel and exploring new worlds, I find that too long in any one place makes me restless. If not restless, then complacent. If not that, then some form of depressive rut takes me. I fall quickly into bad habits and routines, for various different reasons. I don't know if it's because I've been around too long, but here in Melbourne it happens all too quickly, and all too easily. Perhaps I am creating familiarity for myself, or it's just this city. Whatever it is, I find myself measuring time in days 'till I get on the plane to KL. I worry sometimes that five, ten years down the road I'll look back and say "I didn't know what I had in Melbourne", just like what happened to me while I was in KL. I mean, I knew I had it good in KL, but I just didn't know HOW good.

Maybe it's just me, but I find something about Melbourne inherently depressing, and there's something that just doesn't sit well with me and this city. Lobov mentioned it's the difference between a Western and an Eastern-based city. I read once that to really be happy in life, you needed three things; someone to love, something to look forward to, and something to do. I suppose it could be that I've never really had any three of these things together in one place.

It's been 2 trips back to KL since I last posted, and since then I've been breathing easier, laughing louder and smiling more. People used to say I was best seen with a drink in hand, but really I'm at my best at home.